May 13, 2014

My Tattoo

Hi guys!

Long time no see/ talk!! I'm sorry I've been MIA for the past few weeks- finals week was pretty stressful and I had to finish up my honors thesis. Now that all of that is out of the way, I should be able to blog more often (if something interesting happens haha). Anyways, on to the point of this post. 

I got a tattoo last Friday! I honestly never thought I would get one simply because it's "unacceptable" (especially around here) for teachers to have visible tattoos. I just decided that I really didn't care anymore- if I have to cover it at school, that's perfectly fine with me. I wanted something that I could see every day.

Ok, there's a bit of a backstory behind the tattoo. I'll try not to go too in depth (sorry, this is probably going to be a long post). Last June, I fell into a pretty deep depression- that led to self-harm and suicidal thoughts. I was in such a dark place, and it just seemed like there was no way to overcome it. I stated going to group therapy once a week after I told my family what had been going on. There wasn't a quick fix to this problem; some days are harder than others. I've been struggling to overcome this for almost a year, and I can honestly say I feel like I'm in a completely different place now. A healthy and safe place. 

Skip ahead to this year. I just recently discovered Thirty Seconds to Mars, and have become completely obsessed with their music. I really don't know why, I just absolutely love the band- their music is incredible and the Jared, Shannon, and Tomo are amazing musicians. I was listening to the "This is War" album in my car one day, and the song "Alibi" came on. It sounds so cliche and cheesy, but I heard the lyrics and started crying. One line, in particular, stood out to me: I fell apart, but got back up again. The way Jared sings it still brings me to tears (I'm talking ugly-crying, guys); there's so much pain in his voice, but by the end of the song, it turns to determination. I can honestly say that no other song has ever had such an impact on me. I knew this song was special the moment I heard it, and it will always hold a special place in my heart. I went through so much pain (emotionally and physically) that I knew I needed this line somewhere where I could see it each and everyday. It's more of a reminder than anything. A reminder that I have overcome so much, and I can continue to get past whatever struggles may come my way in the future. 

My tattoo is on my right forearm. John did such an amazing job, and I'll definitely go back to him for my next tattoo (I'm thinking of getting the MARS logo on my left forearm). 

You made it to the end of my (super) long post!! Congrats!
Thank you so much for reading :) Hope to talk to all of you again very soon!